Mr. Haughty-Pants Darcy versus J. Marie Croft

With strange British voices in her head, or maybe voices not so strange, Ms. Croft delights us with how her story came to print. This battle of wills 'will' have us all wondering about the final outcome. Guess we will have to read the book to answer that all important question! There is also a  giveaway and the information about it is at the end of the post.

Please welcome J. Marie Croft, author of Love at First Slight.

          Mr. Haughty-Pants Darcy             

versus

J. Marie Croft

I thought I had Jane Austen’s characters out of my system years ago.  Hah!  In vain, I struggled to work on a local historical fiction.  I tried.  I really tried to ignore the voices in my head – those teasing, tempting, tenacious voices that whispered with proper English accents and uttered Regency-ish expressions.

“It will not do,” said one particular male voice – one terribly persistent, irrepressible, swoon-worthy British articulator.  “You must allow me, once again, to tell everyone how ardently I –”

“Stop that!” I implored while swatting at air around my head.  “Go away!”

In a stentorian tone, the voice said, “I might, perhaps, wish to be informed why, with so little endeavour at civility, I am thus shooed like a gnat.”

“I’m trying to forget you.”

“Oh, really?  And how is that going?”

“Not particularly well,” I mumbled.  “You’re frustratingly unforgettable.”

“Yes, I know.  In fact, I am one of the most memorable literary characters ever written and have been a favourite for over 200 years.”

“Insufferable man!  I can’t write a book about you right now.  My head should be full of something else.”

“You are full of something, madam, if you think you can move on and leave me behind. Come on,” he whispered huskily, “you know you want to write about me.  I shall not go away till you have given me the assurance I require.”

“Quit stealing other characters’ lines!”

“You should talk, madam!  Jane Austen must be rolling over in her grave.”

I clasped hands over my ears, but blocking out external noise did little to silence a voice that came from within my own besieged brain.

Image courtesy of John De Boer, rgbstock.com

 So I sang aloud.  “La, la, la, la.  I can’t hear you.  La, la, la!”  I was determined to carry my purpose and not be dissuaded from resolution.  I would not submit to him ... to that man’s … to that voice’s whim.

“If you were sensible of your own good,” his silky voice murmured, “you would not wish to quit the sphere you so willingly entered – the wonderful, whimsical world of JAFF.”

I whimpered and sniffled.  “I do miss it.  It’s a field in which I had hoped to pass myself off with some degree of credit.”

The voice pounced, so to speak.  “I am afraid you do not like your pen, for you write uncommonly slowly with it.  You should have churned out several novels by now.  Let me mend your pen for you.”  The voice was low-pitched and seductive.  “I do it remarkably well.”

To yield readily, easily, to persuasion of an imaginary character’s voice is no merit to my character; but, I confess, I weakened.  “Well, I do have a manuscript I dusted off, polished up, and –”

“Am I the protagonist?”  His words were clipped, no longer softly spoken.

“Not exactly.  In this story, the well-to-do Darcy is a beautiful lady of twenty summers.  She, Elizabeth, arrives at Netherfield with her widowed friend, Jane Devonport (nee Bingley).  At the Meryton assembly, Elizabeth slights a handsome fellow by the name of William Bennet, who, by the way, is the protagonist.  He resembles you in appearance, but your pride and haughty disdain are embodied in Miss Elizabeth Darcy.”

“A body-swap story?  Egad!  Do you mean I – a worldly man of sense and education – dwell inside the anatomy of a young lady, not yet one and twenty?”

“No, no, no!  It’s more of a gender reversal story.  Mrs. Bennet does not have tremblings, flutterings, spasms, high hopes, etc.; her husband does.  They have five unmarried sons living under Longbourn’s roof, and four of them must either pursue professions or (as their father prefers) wealthy women.  Charles, most handsome of the Bennet brood, becomes moonstruck over the Widow Devonport; and Caroline is replaced by the oleaginous Casper  Bingley who-”                                                                                                           

“The what who Bingley?”

“Casper.  He’s oleaginous.”

“Beg pardon?”

“I thought you liked words of four syllables or more.  O-le-ag-i-nous.  Look it up.  Better yet, read the story.”

“But I am not in the bloody, blighted book ...”  (I swear I felt a petulant foot stomp inside my head.)  “… and no one will want to read a Pride and Prejudice inspired story without the incomparable, top-of-the-trees, unforgettable Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley!”

“Top of the trees?  You might be going out on a limb there, sir.”

“Oh, God,” he groaned, “please do not tell me this new story is peppered with more of your infamous puns.”

“It’s not.  Honestly!  There’s only ... a couple.”  Fingers crossed behind my back, I quickly tallied up the pun count.  “OK.  In truth, it’s probably more like three or four than a couple.”

“Speaking of a couple, do Elizabeth and this Bennet fellow have a HEA?”

“I am surprised, sir, that you’re familiar with the acronym.”

“Well?”  The voice was now waspish.  “Do they have a ‘happily ever after’ or not?” 

“Read all about them in the book, Love at First Slight – and, yes, it’s slight not sight.”

“Is it currently at Hatchard’s, Stockdale’s, or Lackington’s?”

“No.  Love at First Slight will be released by Meryton Press November 1, 2013, during the bicentennial anniversary of the publication of Pride and Prejudice.  I am thrilled to report the book sports an absolutely gorgeous cover, graced with a certain beautiful 20-year-old female by the name of Elizabeth.”

“My Elizabeth,” sighed the voice.

“Nope.  She’s William Bennet’s Elizabeth.  You’re not in the story, remember?”

“By excluding me, madam, you have deprived the JAFF community of its brightest ornament.”

                                                                                                    

“Still vainglorious and quoting other characters, I see.  By the way, Casper Bingley has bright ornaments and gaudy furbelows enough for both of you.  The Reverend Mr. William Bennet, however, looks mighty hot in a simple, form-fitting black cassock.”

“Hot?  Well, I suppose those prunella garments could be rather warm, especially in summer.  Wait!  Do you mean to tell me your protagonist is a one-in-ten?  A parish bull?  A lowly cleric? A spiritual flesh broker?”  The voice grew feeble.  “And Elizabeth ... ?”

I nodded with vigour ... and really rattled that voice in my head.

                                   _______________________________________________

Love at First Slight

(available November 1 from Meryton Press)

“It may not be universally acknowledged, 

but the unvarnished truth is that 

a young widow in possession of a good fortune 

is not necessarily in want of another husband.”

In this humorous, topsy-turvy Pride & Prejudice variation, all the gender roles are reversed. It is Mr. Bennet’s greatest wish to see his five sons advantageously married. When the haughty Miss Elizabeth Darcy comes to Netherfield with the Widow Devonport (nee Bingley), speculation—and prejudice—runs rampant.

William Bennet, a reluctant and irreverent future reverend, catches Miss Darcy’s eye, even though he is beneath her station. His opinion of her was fixed when she slighted him at the Meryton Assembly. As her ardour grows, so does his disdain; and when she fully expects to receive an offer of marriage, 

he gives her something else entirely ….

_______________________________________________

J. Marie Croft lives in Nova Scotia and divides her time among working at a music lesson centre, geocaching (a high-tech treasure hunt) with her husband, and writing.  Her stories are lighthearted; and her tag line is Jane Austen’s quote, “Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery.”  A member of the Jane Austen Society of North America (Canada), she admits to being excessively attentive to the 1995 BBC version of Pride and Prejudice.  Adult twin daughters are the light of her life even though they don’t appreciate Mr. Darcy the way ‘Momzie” does.

Contact: jmariecroft@gmail.com

Links:

website

Facebook

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In the battle of Mr. Haughty-Pants Darcy versus J. Marie Croft, the author likes to think she emerged victorious.  After all, Love at First Slight tells William Bennet’s tale, not Fitzwilliam Darcy’s. 

Or perhaps Mr. Haughty-Pants Darcy should win the gold meddle. 

What’s your verdict?

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I look forward to reading your book to see who is victorious...Mr. Haughty-Pants Darcy or J. Marie Croft! Thank you for being my guest and entertaining us with your lively post! It was much fun. Dear readers, according to what you have read, who do you think merged victorious? Tell us in your comments.

Thank you to Michele Reed and Meryton Press for having a giveaway. Ms. Reed is kindly offering a trade paperback to one lucky winner AND  an eBook for your eReader to a second lucky winner.The giveaway is international . To be entered leave a comment below as I always love reading your 'say in the conversation'! Good luck to all. Be sure to include your email address in the comment. To prevent unwanted spam, put your email address with an (at) instead of @.  Winner will be chosen in a random drawing. Giveaway ends at midnight, October 14. 
NOTE:  This book has not been released yet so winners will not receive their copies until early to mid November...after the book's release!